Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bible Study

Okay--so I will be posting every day this week to catch up. If I type it as an agreement, then I will have to follow through, right?? Grandparents, I PROMISE pictures of the grandbabies no later than tonight before bed! Okay, so I thought I would share something that God is revealing to me that isn't necessarily in this bible study. It is from this bible study because I have been praying for God to change me in any way necessary for me to become the person he desires me to be. Here is the great thing about God...and the sometimes slightly irritating thing about God...he listens to your prayers and he answers your prayers! Even if that means showing me that I am not perfect. Sighhhh, my secret is out! Haha.

So, here it is: I am a record-keeper. I don't keep records with the intention of using them later or measuring tit for tat. I just always like for things to be "fair". However, God is showing me that it is IMPOSSIBLE (for me, at least--I can not speak for everyone) to keep track of everything and serve whole-heartedly and joyfully at the same time.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, Matt was exhausted. He had every right to be exhausted--we live a crazy busy life. So I told him to just take a few days to relax and not worry about anything. Silly him--he listened. The first two days, I was a good joyful wife. Day three, on the other hand, I mentally pulled my list of all that I had been doing and all that he had not been doing (again...because I told him not to) and started to feel a little bit of resentment. Then...a little frustrated....and it just grew and grew until I was no longer joyful. I was grouchy.

How crazy is that? I tell him to relax and take a break...after all I take girl's night and he watched the kids so I could do a girl's weekend--he definitely DESERVED some rest. But my constant need to mentally keep track of things got in the way of me being able to joyfully serve. This is just one example. I won't list them all--you don't want to take the hours it would take to read them and I don't want to look like the stinker I can be sometimes.

Bottom line, one thing that God has really been telling me to work on (persistently I might add) is STOP keeping records--do it with a joyful heart regardless of what the other person is doing. Don't ask the questions:
  • Shouldn't he or she? (The answer is probably yes.)
  • Don't I have the right? (Probably without a doubt.)

Instead focus on "Why should I"...because it is God wants you to do. Trust me, there really is no disputing this logic. I have tried.

Whew--that was really easy to type. Too bad I have been failing at every day for six weeks now. Haha. I am improving though! (most days)

1 comment:

Lindsay and Robert said...

Great post, Sara, and a reminder I need daily! I remember a sermon at church about this and the pastor called it keeping a ledger. Robert and I keep each other in check, and when we pull out "well i did this so you do that," we remind each other to throw out our ledger. Your posts have inspired me to read this book too - only a chapter or two in so far, but I know I'm going to learn a lot. :)