Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Testimony Tuesday: Overwhelmed/You lead

Well I have done a fine job with blogging and keeping up with Testimony Tuesday this month, haven't I?  (You should be sensing a strong dose of sarcasm right now.)

To just lay it all out there...that is kind of how everything in my life feels right now.  Behind.  I feel overwhelmed at all of the things going on in my life and underwhelmed by the job I am doing at all of them.  (Don't feel bad for me--I am fine.  I am just sharing my thoughts.) 

The truth is I am just in a funk.  I have been praying for humility and the Lord has generously granted that request.  Maybe a little too He has just been waiting for me to pray for it.  Ha! 

I know I am not the only one out there that feels like just in case you need to know you aren't alone.  Here are just a few of the things that have me in said "funk."

1.  I can NOT for the life of me keep my laundry or dishes under control, folks! 
2.  Raising a 2 and 3 year old.  Some days I feel like I have no idea what I am doing.  And on the days that I do feel like I know what I am doing--one of them usually does something that humbles me back to reality. 
3.  I am still trying to process being in the hospital with my Uncle the last week of his life and the night that our neighbor's little boy went to be with Jesus. 
4.  I am in that place where we just had a whirlwind month of busyness and stuff going on that I just really don't want to commit to doing anything. 

I know that I haven't been feeling like my normal self lately and I have just been heavy hearted and unbalanced and I have been praying about it and yesterday while I was in my car (alone...I might add :) Jamie Grace's "You Lead" came on and I just felt like the Lord was saying, "Quit trying to figure it all out on your own!!  Stop trying to control it and have it all together and let me lead!!"  Here is the first part of the song lyrics.

"You Lead"
I've got waves that are tossin' me,
Crashin' all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be yours,
So pull me out of this mess I'm in,
Cause I know I'm wanderin'
Lead my soul back home again,
I've always been yours,

And this world may push, may pull,
But your love it never fails,

You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly,
When you lead, I'll follow,
Just light the way and I'll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on, on, on and on,
Just lead me on, on, on and on,
Yessssss.  Exactly Lord!  I found this SO encouraging yesterday and I now that my focus is more on Him than my "problems" I can feel Him leading me out of the "funk."  Here is the whole song if anybody wants to listen.  Thankful for a God that speaks to my heart.


Anonymous said...

I am sorry friend your going through a funk right now. Please know your not alone and we all have those days...

Parenting is hard and challenging..I think we all question as to if we are doing it right. You are raising your children in the Lord, so i know they will turn out to be awesome godly children!!

I am sure it is really hard saying goodbye to your Uncle. Prayers to you and your family.

Courtney said...

I understand where you are coming from. I have been so busy lately that it has put me in a funk too. I just need to get back into a routine and get my life back in order.