Well I had last week's breakthrough of accepting the day that God has planned for me...and then "life" happened and I really just adopted one stinker of an attitude.
Wednesday night I started getting sick and stayed sick until yesterday. Lilly and Reid got the stomach bug this weekend. This pretty much makes 2 months that we have been sick. And I decided I didn't want to "accept this day's plan" at all. I wanted to be mad about it. I wanted to throw a big pity party for myself.
It probably started Saturday morning--this attitude problem--and it continued to grow as we spent Easter at home (not in our cute Easter clothes I might add)--and grow some more as I spent Sunday evening sanitizing like a mad woman when all I really wanted to do was lay in bed--and peaked Monday after I had taken care of two kids with lots of energy while I just really didn't have any.
Then I guess I felt like I had been mad long enough and finally decided to listen to the Lord and the things he was trying to tell me.
The first message was one someone retweeted by Joyce Meyer that said, "All complaining comes from pride." That one immediately stung because I had been doing a LOT of complaining. On Easter Sunday to boot! On the day we are supposed to remember about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins that so that we can be forgiven and have a personal relationship with God...I am moping and complaining about my problems?!!? The sting of conviction ran deep on this one. I had to apologize for an ungrateful heart and a prideful heart.
Then the second one came to mind as I was driving in the car this morning...and I will warn you now that is SO random. Back before I had Lilly and Reid I watched Dr. Phil (I warned you it was random.) and he would always say that he wakes up and tries to make Robin's (his wife) day as great as possible and that he was lucky because she did the same for him. And as that thought popped into my head I thought about how God says to put others ahead of yourself and I realized my attitude has been SO BAD because my attitude has been All. About. ME. It wasn't that I meant to have a selfish attitude but I had been completely focused on the things I wasn't happy with and this (thought) reminded me of the Jesus Calling devotion from a couple of days ago that says:
"When you focus your mind on what you don't have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened. You take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from Me. You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is 'fixed.'
When you approach Me with thanksgiving, the Light of My Presence pours into you, transforming you through and through. Walk in the Light with Me by practicing the discipline of thanksgiving."
So three things I am taking away:
1. Complaining is from pride. It darkens my mind. Lord help me to live out Philippians 4:8--fix my thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
2. Set my heart on serving others above myself. What can I do to make their day better?
3. Be thankful. At all times. In all circumstances.
Hopefully next week I won't have to confess another stinky attitude. Ha! I am hoping to have an attitude of gratitude for the rest of this week!!
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