Unfortunately Saturday night, he was up all night miserable. I mean he would sleep for 5 minutes and then just wake up crying...and crying that cry where you could tell he just DID. NOT. FEEL. GOOD!! At 4:00 a.m. we finally got him to sleep for about an hour and a half. Then, he woke up SCREAMING and he continued to scream until 8:00. Nothing and I mean NOTHING comforted him. Do you know how helpless that makes a Mommy feel??
To add to this situation, Baby Dedication was that morning and we had several people that had come in from out of town. I told Matt that I was putting Reid in the car and if he stopped crying we would go the dedication and if not I was going straight to the doctor. Well, he stopped crying and even flashed a smile...so we went to Baby Dedication.
I should explain at this point that Matt and I were like an old engine held together by duct tape and chicken wire....barely functioning!!! We hadn't slept and we were so stressed out because Reid was clearly NOT better. He has been sick for 2 1/2 months. There was a reception after the dedication. I should also throw in the fact that we had to wake Lilly up to get ready and she wasn't in the best of moods either. Anyway, after her throwing a tantrum because I wouldn't let her have an open juice bottle by herself I exasperatedly said, "Lilly you are driving Mommy crazy this morning"...at which point our entire table turned and looked at me horrified and with judgement. It was only 9:30 A.M.
(Side note on this picture...when Lilly slides she lands right on her bottom...she loves it....it makes me hurt.) Then we went to lunch with our Mothers....unfortunately it was Mother's Day and with Matt's great aunt passing away and having to go out of town unexpectedly...we had NO GIFTS OR CARDS.
I still consider it a good day because it was Mother's Day and I feel so incredibly blessed to be a Mommy but it was a hard day.
We didn't get much sleep Sunday night either and went to the Pediatrician Monday morning. At which point they tell us that not only are his ear infections back but they are pretty much as bad as they can be. They gave him a shot and his FIFTH antibiotic and we have scheduled an ENT appointment for next week. We talked about tubes.
I can't lie...I cried ALL DAY LONG. I think I was just overwhelmed. I just couldn't quit picturing my SWEET PRECIOUS PERFECT baby boy in a hospital operating room. I know it is the simplest procedure and that I just need to put my big girl pants on and get over it....but I just feel so helpless because I haven't been able to get him healed. I am so frustrated at the 8 doctors appointments and hundreds of dollars we have spent just to have to keep going back again and again with the same problem not getting any better.
I have thought a lot about people who have babies that are seriously sick or in the hospital and my heart has just broken for them because my son has just had ear infections for a couple of months and may have to have tubes and I was reduced to a blubbering mess for an entire day!! I have just lifted them up in prayer because I just can't even imagine!
On a positive end, Reid is feeling better. He is always a happy boy so I just didn't realize how much MORE SMILEY he is when he is feeling better. I can tell the ears are still bothering him but I can tell that he is feeling much better. Yesterday and today, ironically, have been two of my greatest days in parenting...maybe not ironically...more like God's blessings!