- Well, I started a group bible study this past Tuesday at church called "For Women Only". Let me be honest and frank here...I had no idea I was signing up for a bible study that would help me better understand my man! God may have tricked me to get me in there. Haha! Whether I intended on bettering myself as a wife or not, I am really enjoying (and being convicted by) this study. It has been pretty insightful during the one week I have been doing it so I thought I would share some "highlights" that I have learned so far. Beware: Reading this can convict you to change a few things about yourself....or maybe that is just me. (c:
- Men would rather feel respected than love (if they had to choose). Say WHAAAA??? I asked Matt and he said it was absolutely true!! Take a minute if you need to in order for that to sink in. I have taken a week and it hasn't quite sunk in yet. Turns out...this is totally biblical: Ephesians 5:33 "To sum up, each one of you [talking to the husband] is to LOVE his wife as himself, and the wife is to RESPECT her husband."
- While we as women expect unconditional love from our husbands, we usually think that respect needs to EARNED...when in contrast, the bible tells us to unconditionally respect our husbands. That is right...even when he is being a jerk. Ha! (I warned you...this is some convicting stuff.)
- Now, here is the deal, most of us ladies don't walk around knowingly disrespecting our husbands all the time...for the most part, we feel like we are pretty respectful of our men...at least as long as they aren't ticking us off. Ha! But what I have learned this week is that I can disrespect Matt without me ever realizing that I have done it! Here are some examples:
- Questioning him and his decisions.....I am a detail person and I like to know the details. When we pull out of the drive-way, I want to know which route he is taking...why that route and not this route, why are we going to this particular place first, etc. What I didn't realize is that he hears all of those questions as me not trusting in his abilities to get us there and not trusting his decision making skills. (I am actually just asking because I like to be in the know...BUT Matt verified that he gets frustrated because he doesn't see why I need to know-he WILL get us where we need to go.) Therefore, it is more important for him to feel respected and know that I trust his capabilities than it is for me to know all the little details. Respect his judgement and abilities and refrain from interfering...I will try! Haha.
- Teasing him in public. I had difficulty with this one because Matt and I tease each other a lot. I asked him and he said he didn't feel disrespected when I teased him. BUT I got to thinking and the truth is part of my job as a wife is to build him up--so this doesn't mean that we can't joke with each other but I can refrain from joking at his expense if there is a possibility that my joke may bring him down rather than build him up.
- Sometimes, as a wife (and a stay-at-home mom)--I put efficiency and my to-do list above consciously making a point to make sure Matt is feeling respected. (I am just being honest. I don't do it on purpose, but it happens.) For example, I critique the order in which he is doing things...which in my mind may not be the most efficient way to get it done so that we can get more done..instead of letting him do it his way and appreciating his effort and help.
- This weeks "challenge" is to not say anything negative to (or about) my husband and think of something positive/encouraging/respectful to say to him each day.
There was a ton more material covered this week...but I just wanted to jot down a few of the things that really stuck out to me.
There is a story in the bible (Luke 10:38-42) where Jesus is at the house of two sisters Martha and Mary (not his mother Mary). Anyway, Mary is sitting at Jesus's feet listening to what he is saying. Martha is distracted by everything that needed to be done and she was getting irritated with her sister for not helping her. Finally she asks Jesus, "Don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work?" and Jesus replies "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better." This story came to me today....sometimes I get caught up in everything that needs to be done and I miss out on stuff that is really important...playing with my babies, visiting with family and friends instead of making sure the house looks perfect, taking some time to relax and spend quality time with my husband, trying to be efficient instead of making sure my husband feels validated and respected and trusted, etc., etc., etc. You all probably didn't need to hear that today but I just feel like it is such a good reminder for me and my priorities!