Thursday, September 9, 2010

MOPS & Reid's Sick

Well yesterday MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) started! I was so excited!! I just love getting to hang out with other moms that are in the same phase of life. BUT I was EXTRA excited because the guest speaker was...... Michelle Duggar!!!!! As a mom of two, I was ALL EARS listening to a mom of 19 children. 19 children that, as far as I can tell, are well-behaved, smart, Godly children. She had sooo much great advice. She has the softest voice and is just so calm and positive. I am dead serious when I say that I came home and prayed for a more positive spirit in my own life! I don't think I am a negative person but I can definitely get there on some days! In the picture is my friend Sydney, Michelle Duggar, and me.
5 of her daughters were there...I only got a picture with 3 of them and my buddy Jenna. There were a ton of bloggers there so we were all pretty shameless with our cameras and picture taking!! Haha. These girls were so sweet to talk to...her children really were her "credentials" for parenting advice.
Oh, and the entire film crew was there. I was talking to a couple of friends and all of the sudden a microphone would fall in between us out of no where. It was so weird! I also got hit in the head with a long camera when one of the guys turned around (probably my fault...I rarely watch where I am going). I got used to it but it was a little distracting at first...good thing I got there early!
Before she spoke, all of her girls played the violin for us. They were SO GOOD. I think it is awesome that they share that talent! I am going to share some of the information that she talked about at the end of this post if you are interested...but for the family that just wants to hear about the kids...I am going to finish the post and then put the "highlights".
Yesterday was also Lilly's birthday. So after MOPS we met Daddy at the house for Lilly's favorite lunch: chicken fries, cheese, and grapes. Then, Lilly and Reid both had good naps and we got up ready for a big evening filled with Mad Pizza, Chuck E Cheese, and cupcakes/ice cream. Unfortunately, we realized when we got to Mad Pizza that Reid wasn't feeling very good. We discussed eating and going home but before we could do anything, he "got sick". The poor guy has been so pitiful and sick!! This morning he just laid down. He didn't want to be held or touched and he couldn't get comfortable. He was simply MISERABLE. He was finally able to keep some Pedialyte and crackers down this evening so hopefully we are on the mend.
Miss Lilly did NOT understand why she could not play with Bubby today. This made for a little bit of a rough day. There was only one of me (that was mainly holding Reid all day) and two children that needed things.
On a totally unrelated note...Lilly is always bringing me this bow to put in her hair. So cute! She did get to have a little daddy/daughter time last night because they went out and got birthday dessert together. We still wanted her to feel special on her day.
Okay now for the Duggar advice!
She gave us this handout that shows the operational definitions of character qualities. I really liked the way that each one was defined. Here are a couple for example.
Contentment=realizing that God has provided everything I need for my present happiness.
Punctuality=Showing high esteem for other people and their time (I need to work on this one.)
Patience=Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving Him a deadline to remove it.
That is just a few...there are 49 of them. I just really think it makes you think of those words in a different/positive way that also says how to put it into action. She also said that the three she felt were most important to emphasize with her children were as follows:
  1. Attentiveness. She said that she always has her children look her in the eyes before she talks to them to show them they are listening to her. (I will say that I have tried this with Lilly since we got home and it really does make a difference. She is much more obedient and responsive when I get on her level and have her look me in the eyes.)
  2. Self-Control. She said it doesn't do any good for them to be attentive if they don't follow through with self-control and...
  3. Obedience. She said obedience needs to be instant, cheerful, thorough, and unconditional. I thought...yes, that would be awesome! Haha.

Another thing she said that I thought was important was to praise publicly and correct privately. I really do think that is important and something that I am going to try to do from now on. She also kept referring to "correcting" as "encouraging them" to act with Godly character. Also, she said that the ratio of praise to correcting is 10/1...children need more praise. You also need to praise and correct separately-not at the same time.

She also said that as a parent, you have to "choose joy" even on the rough days. I practiced that today...I failed several times...but I am getting the opportunity to practice!

Another thing I loved was that the kids don't say "I'm sorry" to one another. They have to say "I was wrong for _______. I was being _________. Will you forgive me?" I.e. I was wrong for taking your toy. I was being selfish. Will you forgive me?

She also talked about training them before they were in situations. She said they played games like "Right and Wrong Responses Charades" In this game, they will give a situation (like cutting in line for the bathroom) and then they act out the wrong response first and then the correct response. Of course they overdramatize it so it is fun but then when the kids are in that situation, they have already practiced the correct way to respond.

She said they also play the obedience game (they give a command and the kids go do it as fast as they can...quirky commands likes running around the table and helpful commands like wiping off the counter...mixing it up and making it fun). They also learn character qualities and bible verses on a regular basis...sometimes they act the bible verses out or give motions to them. I think the key was that they really tried to prepare them for tough situations beforehand and make it fun at the same time.

She was so great to listen too! I wished she would speak every month because I have so many questions!!! She just had great tips and advice and you can just tell that she loves her children so much!


Lindsey Cobb said...

That is crazy! I can't believe she was there! I sure it was fun to listen to her! Glad I'm not her though!

Anonymous said...

I think it is so awesome that she was at your Mops mtg! I love their show and admire the type of godly mother she is. Thank you for sharing what she shared with your group. I will be looking for you in an upcoming episode! I hope Reid is feeling better. Have a good weekend!

The Avra Fam said...

I so wish that I could've been there! Thanks so much for including the handout. I printed it and am going to put it on the fridge at home. I just love watching them interact with each other and their children. It really hurts my feelings when people talk bad about them, because you can tell that their only intention is to serve God. Hope wild man is feeling better!!

Elizabeth said...

I just came across your blog!! YOur children are precious!! I have 2 smalls ones as well. I loved hearing Michelle Duggar's advice. It is funny to think, as an elementary school teacher, we are told to MODEL to your students how/what they are supposed to do.It just occurred to me reading your post. We should be doing this with our little ones.