- Attentiveness. She said that she always has her children look her in the eyes before she talks to them to show them they are listening to her. (I will say that I have tried this with Lilly since we got home and it really does make a difference. She is much more obedient and responsive when I get on her level and have her look me in the eyes.)
- Self-Control. She said it doesn't do any good for them to be attentive if they don't follow through with self-control and...
- Obedience. She said obedience needs to be instant, cheerful, thorough, and unconditional. I thought...yes, that would be awesome! Haha.
Another thing she said that I thought was important was to praise publicly and correct privately. I really do think that is important and something that I am going to try to do from now on. She also kept referring to "correcting" as "encouraging them" to act with Godly character. Also, she said that the ratio of praise to correcting is 10/1...children need more praise. You also need to praise and correct separately-not at the same time.
She also said that as a parent, you have to "choose joy" even on the rough days. I practiced that today...I failed several times...but I am getting the opportunity to practice!
Another thing I loved was that the kids don't say "I'm sorry" to one another. They have to say "I was wrong for _______. I was being _________. Will you forgive me?" I.e. I was wrong for taking your toy. I was being selfish. Will you forgive me?
She also talked about training them before they were in situations. She said they played games like "Right and Wrong Responses Charades" In this game, they will give a situation (like cutting in line for the bathroom) and then they act out the wrong response first and then the correct response. Of course they overdramatize it so it is fun but then when the kids are in that situation, they have already practiced the correct way to respond.
She said they also play the obedience game (they give a command and the kids go do it as fast as they can...quirky commands likes running around the table and helpful commands like wiping off the counter...mixing it up and making it fun). They also learn character qualities and bible verses on a regular basis...sometimes they act the bible verses out or give motions to them. I think the key was that they really tried to prepare them for tough situations beforehand and make it fun at the same time.
She was so great to listen too! I wished she would speak every month because I have so many questions!!! She just had great tips and advice and you can just tell that she loves her children so much!